[Bjorn Blomquist]

Hello, I'm back...

Got this on the Kinks mailing list and thought it's too funny not to
share it with you.


Some of the shortest books about music:

"Dental Hygene And Nutrition For Health And Long Life" - Keith Richards

How to Keep Your Ego in Check by MICK! JAGGER!

Hammer! Your Guide To Personal Finances

Keith Emerson's CBGB's Memories

Black Pride by Michael Jackson

Run A Marathon With David Crosby

Walk up a Flight of Stairs with Aretha Franklin

Ted Nugent's Tofu Secrets

1,000 Ways To Cook Beef by Chrissie Hynde and Moby

Gun Safety by Kurt Cobain

Songs I've Written About Men Who Are Neither Abusive Nor Suicidal by
Lucinda
Williams

I Am A Rock: Stability Through Hard Times by Mariah Carey. Foreword
by Brian Wilson.

Staying True To Your Zorastrian Roots by Freddie Mercury

Understatement -- Meat Loaf

Our Future in the Music Business by the Other Three Guys in No Doubt

My Favorite Drum Techniques That Do Not Involve Metronomically Riding
the
High Hat by John Bonham

My Favorite Drum Techniques by Mo Tucker

My Favorite Drum Techniques that Do Require Metronomically Riding the
High
Hat - Keith Moon

Finish What You Started by Axl Rose

Enya: The Death Metal Years

You Catch More Flies With Honey Than With Vinegar by John Lydon.

The Book of Shirts -- By Iggy Pop

A Half Page of My Original Ideas by David Bowie

Can I Borrow Your Car? by James Dean

I Got My Eye on You by Sammy Davis Jr

What's Black and White and Has Two Eyes? by Sammy Davis Jr and Peter
Falk

The 4th Chord -- The Ramones

No, That Was MY Solo by Brad Whitford. [Actually, I thought this would
  fit Jimmy Page]*

Just A Regular Guy by Adam Ant.

Hit Records WE Wrote For The Police by Andy Summers and Stewart
Copeland.

Hit Records WE Wrote For Talking Heads by Jerry Harrison, Tina Weymouth
and
Chris Franz.

My Best Records Besides Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield.

How I Brought Jazz to Black America by Sting

Hit Songs That I Sang On-Key by Bob Dylan and Neil Young

High On Life by Johnny Thunders

Just Hangin' Wit' My Dad by Marvin Gaye

Interviews Where I Didn't Mention Living In a Van -- By Jewel

The Rough Guide To Mongolian Jazz

The Art of Singing Simply by Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, and Whitney
Houston

How To Write Catchy Commercial Pop Tunes by Captain Beefheart

What I Did in Hall and Oates - By The Short Guy With the Mustache
Partying

With Paul Simon: The Complete Oral History by Tommy Lee

Never Write The Same Song Twice by Angus and Malcolm Young; foreword by
Billy Gibbons

Holding Your Drink by Bon Scott. Preface by Janis Joplin; foreword by
Oscar
Levant. Additional material by John Bonham

The Careful Name Selection Process that Resulted in "Hootie and the
Blowfish"

Projects that I've Done Since Oingo Boingo That Haven't Involved Movie
Soundtracks or Tim Burton -- Danny Elfman

Humility: It's what got me where I am Today - Jack Bruce

How I earned my Swimming Merit Badge - Brian Jones

Blood is Thicker than Water by Ray Davies and Mike Love 

How To Not Suck by Kenny G

Less Is More by Frank Zappa

(*for your information: Rumours claim that Jimmy Page played the guitar
solo on the Kinks' "You really got me", which he didn't, although he
actually DID add *rhythm* guitar to "All day and all of the night" and
few other early Kinks songs. At least, so the story goes... B.B.)

I didn't get that one by David Bowie, I must admit...

So what about using our creative minds to come up with some more books?
Here is one: "How to change your appearance through different haircuts"
by Peter Garrett. 

/Bjorn