Midnight Oil

[Powderworks] Re: what have I done?

Beth Curran bcurran@columbus.rr.com
Wed, 18 Dec 2002 19:29:39 -0500

Jeff, you don't know the ugly secret behind Barney.  Now it can be told:
They breed those disgusting, sappy kids especially for that program on a
ranch in Italy!  Yes, they're genetically engineered.  The alteration is
known in the laboratory community as the MCE, short for the Miserably
Cute Event.  This event contains four sequences:  first, a
discipline-resistance gene, by which the children who inherited the gene
can be separated from their non-altered peers.  The CaMV (Can always
Motivate Vomiting) promoter, derived from the plant which is the source
of syrup of ipecac, precedes the coupled Dumb Dancing and Shrill Voice
sequences, followed by the NOS (Never Out of Smiles) terminator.  The
vector for introduction of the altered gene was a plasmid which
unintentionally contributed the Stereotypical Middle-Class White
Behavior gene, also known as the Opie Event, which is doubly expressed
in any non-Caucasian unfortunate enough to have inherited it.

The leader of the research group which developed this new and offensive
species was confined to his laboratory after chasing his new creations
down the halls of academia armed with a gene gun.  The University board
faulted him for not using an AK-47, thus permitting his creations to
enter general society.  It is thought, however, that natural selection
will eventually take care of the problem, as no one in their right mind
will mate with these creatures when they reach spotty and unattractive

Any questions?

-----Original Message-----
From: Jeff and Jane Scott [mailto:jscott@iinet.net.au] 
Sent: Wednesday, December 18, 2002 8:19 AM
To: Beth Curran; powderworks@cs.colorado.edu
Subject: RE: [Powderworks] Re: what have I done?

At 17-12-02 08:46 PM -0500, Beth Curran wrote:
>Ha!  You're talking to the woman who managed to raise 2 kids in a
>completely Barney-free environment!  One of my proudest achievements to
>date, I must say - Beth

what's wrong with Barney?  I mean obviously he's got nothing on the 
Wiggles, but I've seen worse.


PS my three year old is getting a drum kit for christmas - i'll keep you

posted on progress.