[mpien]

Hey Damian,

Mate I've got this friend who reckons the mp3 thats circulating titled
Midnight Oil - Girls on Film is really the oils, do you know if it is really
them? Can you ask Rob if they've ever covered it? I like most ppl on here
reckon it aint the "real thing", but he keeps insisting it is.

Mark.

----- Original Message -----
From: "[name removed]" <example@example.com>
To: <powderworks@cs.colorado.edu>
Sent: Monday, November 04, 2002 4:26 PM
Subject: [Powderworks] Fwd Gig Rules


>
> this is very funny and very true
>
>
>
>
>
> >1) Don't sing if you aren't one of the dudes on stage getting paid to do
> >it. Nobody paid their hard-earned money to hear your dorky, untalented
ass
> >sing. We came to hear the dudes on stage sing. Paying 40 bucks to go see
> >Tool, but instead of hearing Maynard, you get the dorkus malorkus with
mad
> >zits standing next to you singing "Sober" really loudly and out of key in
> >your ear is enough to murder mother fuckers for.
> >
> >2) Also, if the singer on stage does decide to either: pass the mic
around
> >for the "sing along" song, or: motion to the audience to sing aloud at
key
> >moments, and you know beforehand that your singing ability is severely
> >limited, you MUST waive your "sing along" rights. Leave the crowd
> >participation parts to those that do not fall under the "musically
> >retarded" category.
> >
> >3) This is possibly the oldest rule in the book... yeah, you know what
> >we're talking about... don't be THAT guy. We KNOW you like the band,
that's
> >why you're here, you don't need to wear their SHIRT to their show as
well.
> >
> >4) Also, no wearing shirts of ex-bands either. That means no Nirvana
shirts
> >at the Foo Fighters show, no Jawbreaker shirts at the Jets to Brazil
show,
> >no Minor Threat shirts at the Fugazi show etc.
> >
> >5) The "merch guy" is not your friend. In fact, all the merch guy wants
to
> >do is get through the night without having to talk to your lame ass. That

> >means that he doesn't want a copy of your weak ass emo band's demo to
pass
> >along to the band. The only reason he might talk to you is because you
> >either A) Know where to get drugs. B) Your girlfriend is hot, and by
> >talking to you he can K.G.B. his way into her pants. C) You are willing
to
> >pay him for the time in his life that he's wasted talking about how much
he
> >likes the band's first out of print seven inch D) Know where he can get
> >either drunk or high for free or E) He's making fun of you. Most likely
> >it's E. In fact, it's mostly E, I mean look at yourself, you're striking
up
> >conversation with a merch jockey.
> >
> >6) Dancing is ok, as long as you don't get all fruity. Air-instruments
are
> >NOT ok. That includes: air-guitar, air-drums, air-microphone,
> >air-keyboards, and yes even the air-bass. Don't get me started on
> >air-saxophone.
> >
> >7) If you yell out "Play some Skynyrd", you deserve immediate castration.
> >This isn't funny unless your name is either Beavis or Butthead. Shut the
> >fuck up, we all know you've never heard Skynard. You think Earth Crisis
> >invented music back in 1990. Don't give somebody another reason to stab
> >you.
> >
> >8) Don't be the buff steakhead dudes in the Jeep blasting Radiohead as
you
> >leave (or enter) the parking lot of the Radiohead show. WE KNOW YOU LIKE
> >THE BAND! THAT'S WHY YOU ARE AT THE FUCKING SHOW CHAMP! HOW MUCH OF ONE
> >BAND DO YOU REALLY NEED?! Actually just don't be the four buff guys in
the
> >Jeep at the show... period. This rule applies to everybody. You don't
need
> >to listen to the band you're going to see on the way to seeing them.
> >
> >9) Tall dudes that stand at the front of the stage should have their
> >testicles pureed. You're tall dumb ass, get in the back, or at least back
a
> >few rows.
> >
> >10) Don't yell songs at the band, especially if it's not a super rare
song
> >or something. Yelling "ENTER SANDMAN" at the Metallica show is second
only
> >in retardation to drooling on yourself and walking really funny with a
> >walker. NO SHIT THEY'RE GONNA PLAY ENTER SANDMAN DUDE. Keep it in your
> >pants, they'll get to it in the 3rd encore. Heckling is ok.
> >
> >11) Anybody who utters the word MOSH PIT deserves to die.
> >
> >12) Don't take off your shirt. We know you're sweaty dude, taking off
your
> >wife beater isn't going to stop that.
> >
> >13) Don't be that fat lame bitch that gets crushed at the front of the
> >stage at the barrier. Every time there's a real big show, some
grotesquely
> >fat chick thinks it would be swell to get as close to the singer of
> >Blink182 as possible, and that nobody else there has the same idea. 3
songs
> >into the set, the bouncers have to pull her obese fainting ass over the
> >barricade. Don't be this pathetic piece of pasty lard.
> >
> >14) Don't buy those shirts in the parking lot from the dude who looks
> >homeless... unless your idea of a good fitting shirt is about 1 foot long
> >and 3 feet wide. Oh wait, that probably fits your fat ass perfectly.
> >
> >15) No making out at shows. Get a room. Unless of course it's a Shat
show,
> >then it's ok.
> >
> >16) People who stand outside the whole time, and never go inside to watch
> >any of the bands should be shot in the face. Yeah bitch, we know you
don't
> >really like the music and just use your pseudo post emo look as a social
> >façade to hopefully get laid and shit, but your presence at shows besides
> >annoying everybody and making it harder to move around is useless. Go
home
> >and play on the internet and revise your makeout club profile you twat.
> >
> >17) Don't be that guy who sells your zine at shows. We don't want to hear
> >about your boring life, let alone have to pay money to hear about it.
> >
> >18) Newsflash for kids starting a new band... it doesn't matter how many
> >flyers you make for that first show you're playing at that coffeehouse...
> >if you pass this flyer out to every last fucker in front of the show,
> >NOBODY WILL CARE AND NOBODY WILL COME. We don't care about Shit Skittle's
> >debut performance brah. It's almost as if the people passing out these
> >flyers assume that people are walking out of the show thinking, "Gee, I
> >really don't have anything to do at all next weekend. I wish there was
some
> >shitty show going on somewhere really out of the way with bands I've
never
> >ever heard of and don't know what they sound like that I could go to."
It's
> >not happening bro and never will. Keep practicing.
> >
> >19) No crying.
> >
> >20) When there's a brand new band that a lot of people seem real excited
> >about that features ex members of other cool bands or something, and they
> >don't have any releases out yet, just a demo, or a couple mp3's on their
> >website or something, don't be the jackass at the front of the stage
> >singing all the words. Yeah, yeah, we know you're the geeky super fan who
> >likes these guys way more than everybody else. Just stop it cos you're
> >making everybody want to vomit with your over apparent super fan
> >enthusiasm.
> >
> >21) "Moshers" who lose shoes, keys, wallets, etc. and then stop their
kung
> >fu fighting to try and look for those objects, then get clobbered and
fall
> >to the ground...... no wait, keep doing that, it's funny.
> >
> >22) Sometimes when your favorite band is playing their big hit as their
> >last song, you think it's a good idea and really cool to jump up on the
> >stage and dance with the band. You and about 50 other die-hard geeks.
> >Well... we know you're real enthusiastic about the whole thing, but get
> >your porky and dorky ass off the stage. The band doesn't want you up
there
> >that close to their equipment. Get off the stage fruitcake.
> >
> >23) If you go up and begin conversation with the band while they're
loading
> >equipment out at the end of the night and you don't at least offer to
help,
> >you deserve to be cut into little fucking pieces. The band wants to get
the
> >shit in the van and get the fuck out of your dumb ass corn & wheat
> >truckstop town, and you're not helping matters.
> >
> >24) Street team people passing out the latest Mudvayne cassette sampler
in
> >front of the show should be crucified. Yeah, give me a tape dude. I want
a
> >fucking Mudvayne tape.
> >
> >
> >
>
>
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